It's hard to be humble*

The world is full of seminars, New York Times bestsellers, MBA programs, and research on leadership. Some of it has been quite helpful to me.

Over the past few years, however, I’ve been coming to understand leadership differently than I did in the past. I still value knowing about leadership styles, strategies, and studies, but I’m beginning to suspect that powerful leadership at its heart is about how we understand our relationship to other humans. It’s a way of being in the world.

Do you truly believe that other people have wisdom and experience just as valuable as your own? That they might know things you don’t?

The older I get, the more convinced I am that I know less than I think I do. More and more, I find I am delighted and grateful to discover how much my own work (my life, really) is enriched by being actively curious about what I can learn from others.

Intellectual humility is not something I picked up with my advanced degree and job titles, and it’s something I’m still learning. Like many of you, I been successful in navigating systems that are hierarchical in nature and privilege certain types of knowledge and status. I don’t think intellectual humility is the cornerstone of most of these systems.

If you are a spiritual person, however, that might offer a useful lens. Maybe you believe that there is divinity in each of us and that you should love your neighbor as yourself.  Several years ago the leader of my faith community suggested a mantra to bring this to mind in situations where other people feel like annoyances or obstacles: “Other people are important. Their happiness matters.”

I would say, vis a vis leadership, that it’s not just their happiness that matters, it’s their wisdom. Really seeing other people’s divinity (or “worth,” if divinity feels a little too religious for you), means genuinely believing they have knowledge, experience, and skills that add value to the world and can complement your own.

In my experience, leaders are quick to say that those they manage or represent don’t have the system-level context—the 10,000-foot view—that they believe is required for good decision making. They say that others have a “limited view” or “limited understanding.” I would argue that those in formal leadership positions often lack the deep, practical experience—the 10-foot view—that if included would yield great decisions. There are things we can’t see at 10,000 feet that we can spot at 10. Both views have limitations, but we’re often not humble or perceptive enough to think that way.

Other people are important. Their wisdom matters.

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*Title is a tongue-in-cheek nod to a Mac Davis 1970s country song that my brother, sister, cousins, and I relished singing loudly and theatrically. To listen to the great Willie Nelson sing "It's Hard To Be Humble" check him out on YouTube. If you are a classical music fan and want to watch a fun video with actual leadership lessons, check out Itay Talgam's TED Talk "Lead like the great conductors". 

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